The Revolution Is Wherever We Are

By Andrea Dulanto

I.

Yes, I wore the thrift store T-shirts, the torn fishnets,
but I was no riot grrrl.

I was already in my twenties when I read about riot grrrls in Newsweek,
too old to write manifestoes on my body.

No, it was more like I was too afraid of music that gets into all of your nerves
(too loud, too punk, too queer)
visceral.

Despite my sincere lesbian fuck you to everything,
I was secure in the mainstream
or the alternative version of the mainstream.

Dutiful daughter
of conservative South American parents from Argentina and Peru,
raised to pass for/present as white
to be the middle-class Catholic school girl from the gated Miami suburbs
raised to be wary of all that threatens the fabric
of the supermarket and the mall,
the go to work, go to bed at a decent time of night
lifestyle.

raised to be a 1950s white middle-class housewife

raised to believe in American Top 40,
Casey Kasem

I was kept inside with all the safe music, safe as bleach,
nothing safer than strong chemicals to take away the dirt and screams of life.

II.

Christmas 2012, alone in my friend’s living room,
I watch indie films, documentaries
& for the first time, Portlandia.

At 42 years old,
I consider moving to Portland.

But what’s in Portland?

Same lawns, same garage.

I watch every Sleater-Kinney video on YouTube.

Carrie Brownstein is no longer a young young girl playing guitar to kids in record stores

she’s mature, polished
styled

she wears red lipstick

her house is a photo in fashion magazines
hardwood floors, Mad Men furniture.

I am older than Carrie Brownstein,
and I am listening to Sleater-Kinney as if I was 15.

O the red red lipstick

all the songs
I didn’t know.

III.

onstage
Carrie sways and kicks and thrusts her hips over to Corin
their body language, part of their music, their performance
she rests her head on Corin’s shoulder
another level of punk
another level of not caring what anyone else thinks

every queer heart
open (s)

IV.

no revolution in the suburbs

but the revolution
is wherever we are

alone in your friend’s living room
listening to Dig Me Out

a housewife
leaving home

Andrea Dulanto is a Latinx queer writer. Publications include Bending Genres, Entropy, FreezeRay Poetry, peculiar, SWWIM Every Day, Berkeley Poetry Review, Court Green, and others.

Photo credit: “Revolution and LGBT rights” by Nagarjun via a Creative Commons license.

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