Smile

By Lisa Brand

They only told me to smile, like they know what that means. It’s time to show you who I am. . . . It’s scary, isn’t it? I show some teeth and suddenly you’re all over me like an animal, I should have bared my teeth, I’m not the person that you expect me to be. “You’re prettier when you smile, why don’t you smile for me?” I should have hidden from you, I should have walked away and never looked back, but I couldn’t because then I would be the villain, and you would be the victim. Because you were the one that deserved a chance, because you can be so loving, so charming, but really you’re a pig, consuming whatever is in your path, not caring what it is. That’s just the way you were raised, you deserve the world, you deserve anyone. So when anyone turns away from you, it’s only natural that you get upset. After all, they don’t know you, so you go after them, it doesn’t matter how they feel because you’re a good person. Please don’t try to make me laugh, please don’t touch me, please just don’t get near me. Just because I laughed doesn’t mean I’m interested. I’m actually scared. I don’t know what will happen if I turn away, decline your invitations, and the last thing I want you to do is cause a scene. I’m just trying to make money at an ice cream shop, I don’t know why you’re even trying this here. I have to smile here, I am always smiling here, no matter what you say, I am going to smile at you. If I’m not nice, I’m not sure what’s going to happen, I could get yelled at not only by you, but by my boss. After all, if you’re not trying to do anything, I already know they’re gonna take your side because that’s just how people are. When I look at you, I think of death. I think of what could be, what has happened to other people like me, but I smile through it. Awkwardly laughing at your advancements, I speak of someone else who wouldn’t like this. I wish that person existed, maybe one day I’ll find someone not like you. Where I won’t end up on the floor, beaten, bruised, left for dead. That could happen to me, all because I smiled. Tonight, when I get off of work, I’ll walk to my car, keys tightened between my fingers hoping to any God out there that I won’t see you waiting. Hoping that I will never see you again. And every car I see in my rearview mirror, I’ll think it’s you, your voice will haunt me for a while. But if you do try anything, just know that I will fight until you’re the one screaming bloody murder, then I’ll actually be smiling. But I don’t tell you that, because you deserve the world, you are the world, so for now, I’ll just smile, give you some ice cream, and hope you leave my life forever.

Lisa Brand is currently a bartender. She spends her free time writing short stories about whatever comes to mind. With five stores currently published, she hopes to one day publish a novel.

Photo credit: Cavale Doom via a Creative Commons license.

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