Memo to the Executive Director of Enough Already with the Guns, USA
From: Director of Market Research, Irrational Fears Division
To: Executive Director, Enough Already with the Guns, USA (EAWG USA)
I’m writing to follow up on our discussion about whether any lessons can be learned from California’s speedy abolition of open carry after the Black Panthers’ armed protest at the state Capitol building in 1966. I understand your reticence about the tactic I suggested, but when repeated mass murder doesn’t prove to be an effective incentive for change, perhaps we need to speak in a different language to be heard.
Here are my suggestions for new civic associations that might “trigger” additional action on gun control in the United States:
- African-American Bump Stock Acquisition Fund
Motto: A shooter is a terrible thing to slow down.
- National Latino Ammo Exchange
Motto: Together we are better armed. ¡Unidos!
- Muslim Skeet-Shooters of America
Motto: Train for your future, shoot for the sky!
- Arms for Immigrants, USA
Motto: Open hearts, open arms, open carry
- Gun Enthusiasts of the African Diaspora
Motto: I am my ancestors’ most heavily-armed dreams
- First-Generation Pistol Patriots
Motto: We are the new face of the firing range
We didn’t discuss the following angle at our meeting, but given recent events, I’ve taken the liberty of suggesting one more:
- Armed Actress Guild of America
Motto: Keep your hands where we can see them and no one will get hurt
I look forward to discussing further steps at your earliest convenience.
Tara Campbell is a Washington, D.C.-based writer and an assistant fiction editor at Barrelhouse. Prior publication credits include SmokeLong Quarterly, Litbreak, Masters Review, b(OINK), Queen Mob’s Teahouse, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and Writers Resist. Her novel, TreeVolution, was released in 2016, and her collection, Circe’s Bicycle, with be published in fall 2017. Visit Tara’s website at www.taracampbell.com.
Image via artparodies.com.