By James Butt Nate supposed it’d been the circus owner Charlie Sparks’ fault, with his hanging of old Murderous Mary, but that’d been a hundred years ago and Nate couldn’t understand the wisdom of doing such things today. “I like the card stock it’s printed on,” Elijah said. “Something you’d see for a carnival, or [...]
Psychologists detect pre-existing conditions. A spokesman for the silent majority replies. By Andy Blumenthal Bunk. What crap. Another pathetic dig at our elected president. At least make it credible, the way normal fake news spins around real events like a murder or WMDs. Though he could probably easily fabricate ecstasy, it’s a bizarre slur that [...]
By Miranda Outman 2017: The Letter, 1977 Tom, Terrific to see you out at Montauk. A shame Helen couldn’t make it, but you managed to whip up a nice spread. Diane couldn’t stop talking about that fondue. At any rate, Tom, I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’ve read through 2017. It’s different, it’s interesting [...]
From David H. Reinarz, I am writing to you from the Political Re-Education Farm, which I believe is somewhere in Southern Idaho. They won’t tell us exactly where we are. It’s part of the New Regime’s disorientation/reorientation technique. They’re trying to change our minds. There is a big fence around the farm—President 45 likes walls [...]
By Marvin Lurie Every time I think I've gone too far, I read the paper and realize I haven't gone far enough. Baa Baa Donny have you any money? Yes sir. Yes Sir, full banks many. Some for my gold door, some for my pompadour none for the little boy stranded on the shore. Donny Donny [...]
By Amy Porterfield Levy 1987 – The Art of the Deal: Nukes Edition Trump decides that Moscow needs a Trump hotel and, like every good realtor, he thinks about how good he would be at solving nuclear proliferation issues. Trump: I have a great idea because real estate deals are just like nuclear arms treaties. [...]
By Amy Porterfield Levy This will be the first in a new series called “The Unofficial Recaps of Trump Pressers.” If Trump is impeached soon, it will be a very short series. It will also be short if your recapper is murdered by angry men dressed as Pepe the Frog. So, here it goes. … Scene [...]
A post-election Gallop Poll surveying 20,000 adults between the ages of 28 and 29 revealed the following startling results: 60% of the high-school dropouts who voted for Donald Trump believed he not only won the popular vote but also is the lead singer in the punk band Myopic. 22% of the people who voted for Donald [...]
"The Little Golden Book of Alternate Facts" by Tim O'Brien builds upon the classic Little Golden Books to create a satyrical response to Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway's euphemism "alternative facts." She spoke the term on Meet the Press, Sunday 22 January 2017, when referencing false statements made by new White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer about the [...]
Dear Undergrads, As the poor soul who has been grading for this class for two semesters, suffering through countless horrifying exam answers and weak-ass essays, I have decided to share some useful exam tips with you all. WRITE LEGIBLY. If I cannot read your writing I obviously cannot understand your answer, which means I cannot determine [...]
Dear Students, Because I can no longer claim with any credibility that reading, writing, and critical thinking are essential skills for 21st century success, I have revised the grading rubric for your papers accordingly. Effective January 1, 2017. Sorry for any inconvenience, Dr. Daveena Tauber Daveena Tauber is a writing consultant and professor. Find her consulting [...]
