‘2017’: The Letter and The Review

By | 2017-07-06T06:20:34+00:00 July 6th, 2017|Categories: Issue 32: 06 July 2017|Tags: , |

By Miranda Outman   2017: The Letter, 1977 Tom, Terrific to see you out at Montauk. A shame Helen couldn’t make it, but you managed to whip up a nice spread. Diane couldn’t stop talking about that fondue. At any rate, Tom, I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’ve read through 2017. It’s different, it’s interesting [...]

An Open Letter to the People Beyond the Fence

By | 2017-05-30T15:18:02+00:00 June 1st, 2017|Categories: Issue 27: 01 June 2017|Tags: , , , |

From David H. Reinarz,   I am writing to you from the Political Re-Education Farm, which I believe is somewhere in Southern Idaho. They won’t tell us exactly where we are. It’s part of the New Regime’s disorientation/reorientation technique. They’re trying to change our minds. There is a big fence around the farm—President 45 likes walls [...]

Alt-Majority Nursery Rhymes

By | 2017-05-10T14:21:49+00:00 May 11th, 2017|Categories: Issue 24: 11 May 2017|Tags: , |

By Marvin Lurie Every time I think I've gone too far, I read the paper and realize I haven't gone far enough. Baa Baa Donny have you any money? Yes sir. Yes Sir, full banks many. Some for my gold door, some for my pompadour none for the little boy stranded on the shore. Donny Donny [...]

The Completely Imaginary Trump/Russia Theory that May or May Not Prove To Be True or False

By | 2017-03-29T17:51:57+00:00 March 30th, 2017|Categories: Issue 18: 30 Mar 2017|Tags: , , |

By Amy Porterfield Levy   1987 – The Art of the Deal: Nukes Edition Trump decides that Moscow needs a Trump hotel and, like every good realtor, he thinks about how good he would be at solving nuclear proliferation issues. Trump: I have a great idea because real estate deals are just like nuclear arms treaties. [...]

The Unofficial Recap of Trump’s Perfectly Normal Post-Election Press Conference

By | 2017-02-23T07:46:15+00:00 February 23rd, 2017|Categories: Issue 13: 23 Feb 2017|Tags: , |

By Amy Porterfield Levy   This will be the first in a new series called “The Unofficial Recaps of Trump Pressers.” If Trump is impeached soon, it will be a very short series. It will also be short if your recapper is murdered by angry men dressed as Pepe the Frog. So, here it goes. … Scene [...]

Gallop Poll by Grace Jelsnik

By | 2017-02-23T11:32:55+00:00 February 16th, 2017|Categories: Issue 12: 16 Feb 2017|Tags: , , |

A post-election Gallop Poll surveying 20,000 adults between the ages of 28 and 29 revealed the following startling results: 60% of the high-school dropouts who voted for Donald Trump believed he not only won the popular vote but also is the lead singer in the punk band Myopic. 22% of the people who voted for Donald [...]

Alternate Facts by Tim O’Brien

By | 2017-02-23T12:03:42+00:00 January 26th, 2017|Categories: Issue 9: 26 Jan 2017|Tags: , , , , , , |

  "The Little Golden Book of Alternate Facts" by Tim O'Brien builds upon the classic Little Golden Books to create a satyrical response to Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway's euphemism "alternative facts." She spoke the term on Meet the Press, Sunday 22 January 2017, when referencing false statements made by new White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer about the [...]

Wise Counsel From a Lecture Course Grader

By | 2017-02-23T21:19:38+00:00 December 22nd, 2016|Categories: Issue 4: 22 Dec 2016|Tags: , , , |

Dear Undergrads, As the poor soul who has been grading for this class for two semesters, suffering through countless horrifying exam answers and weak-ass essays, I have decided to share some useful exam tips with you all. WRITE LEGIBLY. If I cannot read your writing I obviously cannot understand your answer, which means I cannot determine [...]

Post-Election College Paper Grading Rubric

By | 2017-02-23T21:44:01+00:00 December 8th, 2016|Categories: Issue 2: 8 Dec 2016|Tags: , |

Dear Students, Because I can no longer claim with any credibility that reading, writing, and critical thinking are essential skills for 21st century success, I have revised the grading rubric for your papers accordingly. Effective January 1, 2017. Sorry for any inconvenience, Dr. Daveena Tauber Daveena Tauber is a writing consultant and professor. Find her consulting [...]