Satire

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LipStick It Couture Du Jour

By | 2022-09-16T16:38:30-07:00 September 29th, 2022|Categories: Issue 137: 29 September 2022|Tags: , , , , |

Because Extraordinary Times Require Extraordinary Adornment   By Tracy Rose Stamper Welcome to RevlOff’s Lip Couture Counter, where science blends with art, topped off with attitude, to bring you colors to carry you through dizzying days. Our makeup counter’s mission is to challenge the slippery slope into post-truth society. By offering an honest line of honest [...]

Deputized

By | 2021-11-26T12:19:25-08:00 December 15th, 2021|Categories: Issue 134: 15 December 2021|Tags: , , , , , , |

By Holly A. Stovall   Congratulations! You are Deputized! Abortion after 6 weeks is illegal in Texas. Help enforce the law by reporting an illegal abortion in the anonymous form below! How do you think the law has been violated? I've had three spontaneous abortions (that's doctor lingo for miscarriages) in three years, each at 8 [...]

2020 Summer Olympics: Tokyo Games Medal Count

By | 2021-09-12T13:05:37-07:00 September 22nd, 2021|Categories: Issue 133: 22 September 2021|Tags: , , , , , , |

By Tara Campbell * as of July 13 ** as of September 8   Tara Campbell is a writer, teacher, Kimbilio Fellow, and fiction co-editor at Barrelhouse. She received her MFA from American University. In addition to Writers Resist, previous publication credits include SmokeLong Quarterly, Masters Review, Wigleaf, Jellyfish Review, Booth, Strange Horizons, and CRAFT Literary. [...]

Nobody Likes Spock

By | 2020-11-11T14:15:31-08:00 November 12th, 2020|Categories: Issue 122: 12 November 2020|Tags: , , , |

By Sarah Colón   Spock scrolls through his Facebook feed in the early hours of the morning. He hasn’t been sleeping well, and the blue light from his phone shining upward reveals dark circles around his eyes. Today, someone is posting a long description of the origins of the virus. “PROOF that it was created by [...]

Boilermaker

By | 2020-08-06T08:23:29-07:00 August 6th, 2020|Categories: Issue 116: 06 August 2020|Tags: , |

By Kari Gunter-Seymour   In January Australia caught on fire. Was that fire put out? Who knows because America decided to play Russian roulette with Iran, then Prince Harry & Megan flipped off the Royal Family shortly before 45’s impeachment debacle, John Bolton trading his testimony for a book deal & just as Corona Virus began [...]

Monarchy

By | 2019-11-26T12:58:24-08:00 November 28th, 2019|Categories: Issue 99: 28 Nov 2019|Tags: , , , |

By Matthew Nelson Hendryx The warrant for my informant’s arrest meant meeting in a public place where we could keep track of anyone approaching. We settled for the revamped carousel on the National Mall. He could watch in all directions as we rotated. I, freelance reporter Stacy Prickelton, was meeting with a prominent member of the [...]

Permission to Procure Birth Control: U.S. Government Form BC-451

By | 2019-05-24T17:26:59-07:00 May 30th, 2019|Categories: Issue 87: 30 May 2019|Tags: , , , , |

By Tara Campbell   U.S. Government Form BC-451: Permission to Procure Birth Control In accordance with the Maternal Priority Act of 2020, any and all requests for contraception must be approved by the U.S. Department of Health and Fetal Services. To that end, please complete the following questionnaire: Name of Infernal Harlot (Last, First): _________________________________________ Citizenship [...]

Want Fries With That?

By | 2019-04-15T20:07:49-07:00 April 18th, 2019|Categories: Issue 85: 18 April 2019|Tags: , , |

By Jon Wesick   The smell of reused, vegetable oil made Uncle Sam’s mouth water as he examined the backlit menu above the brushed-steel counter. When the cashier in the multicolored baseball cap motioned, Uncle Sam stepped forward. “I’ll have a cheeseburger, fries, and root beer.” “That’ll be $6.25.” The harsh overhead lights exposed the acne [...]

Milk Duds

By | 2019-03-18T15:59:11-07:00 March 21st, 2019|Categories: Issue 83: 21 March 2019|Tags: , , , |

By Marleen S. Barr   Baby cages were the last straw for Professor Sondra Lear, a feminist science fiction scholar par excellence. She had tears in her eyes whenever she thought about children wrenched from their parents’ arms. Desiring to drown out her sorrows in a morning cup of coffee, she boiled water and placed a [...]

Breitmark News

By | 2018-10-03T14:25:59-07:00 October 4th, 2018|Categories: Issue 72: 04 October 2018|Tags: , |

By Mark Ozeroff   Breitmark News 1/24/17 President Trump has officially declared the day of his inauguration a national holiday, filing the paperwork on Monday. The proclamation read: “Now, therefore, I, Donald J. Trump, president of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of [...]

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

By | 2018-07-10T12:21:51-07:00 July 12th, 2018|Categories: Issue 66: 12 July 2018|Tags: , , , , |

By Gary Laitman   Listen, as your friend I feel it is time for us to openly discuss something that’s been bothering me for a while, but it’s a somewhat delicate matter. Please understand I am only bringing this up because I feel that you have been taken advantage of and I do not want you [...]

A Dystopian Declaration

By | 2018-06-12T14:41:21-07:00 June 14th, 2018|Categories: Issue 64: 14 June 2018|Tags: , , |

By David H. Reinarz   Following close on the heels of a surprisingly resurgent 45th President and the disappointing turnout by the Resistance in the 2018 mid-term elections, due to chaos fatigue and disorganization, the extremist wing of the Republican Party swept into even greater power in Washington, D.C. This document was issued by the Congress [...]

Heaven Can’t Wait

By | 2018-03-21T16:02:53-07:00 March 22nd, 2018|Categories: Issue 58: 22 Mar 2018|Tags: , , |

By Dean Liscum Less than 48 hours after the mass murder of 26 people in a church in Sutherland Springs, Texas, investigators are pursuing a theory that the attack was planned by the congregation itself. They were tipped off by Fox News host, Ainsley Earhardt. During an interview with Texas Governor Greg Abbott, Earhardt suggested that she [...]

A Modest Proposal

By | 2018-01-10T20:07:49-08:00 January 11th, 2018|Categories: Issue 53: 11 Jan 2018|Tags: , , , |

By Dina Honour   From Business Day: A big name greeting card company today announced a launch date for its highly anticipated new range of greeting cards. The Second to None cards were designed in response to the increase of gun-related casualties, and specifically targets consumers looking for a way to reach out to friends or relatives affected by gun-violence. The [...]

Take This Memo by Tara Campbell

By | 2018-03-29T09:29:32-07:00 November 30th, 2017|Categories: Issue 50: 30 Nov 2017|Tags: , , |

From: Director of Market Research, Irrational Fears Division To: Executive Director, Enough Already with the Guns, USA (EAWG USA) I’m writing to follow up on our discussion about whether any lessons can be learned from California’s speedy abolition of open carry after the Black Panthers’ armed protest at the state Capitol building in 1966. I understand [...]