PTSD Pantoum

By Jean Waggoner

Me and Apple were out on patrol….
Each story begins with a line like this,
the travesty of its grammar a buddy thing
for the philosopher-boy turned to grunt.

Each story begins with a line like this,
a breath-stopping return to war
for the philosopher-boy turned to grunt,
blank-out humping huge loads, splattered in guts.

A breath-stopping return to war,
newest research blames prior trauma;
blank-out humping huge loads, splattered in guts
(What a nice cost-savings for Veterans Affairs).

Our newest research blames prior trauma;
he saw a brakeman uncle’s three-day death;
(What a nice cost-savings for Veterans Affairs!)
a man’s train-severed leg and wailing from pain.

He saw a brakeman uncle’s three-day death,
not the buddy blown up in WW II:
a man’s pain-severed leg and wailing in pain,
or maimed Civil War vets in Depression soup lines.

Not the buddy blown up in WW II,
not the leap to the trench from your rest:
or maimed Civil War vets in Depression soup lines:
blame it on the screaming child at night.

Not the leap to the trench from your rest,
of your father’s or brothers’ war, or yours;
blame it on the screaming child at night.
Those without prior trauma don’t get PTSD.

Of your father’s or brothers’ war, or yours,
Afghanistan vets trump them all.
Those without prior trauma don’t get PTSD;
(Ah, so many recruits homeland-brutalized.)

Afghanistan vets trump them all.
Maybe our movies can shoulder some blame;
(Ah, so many recruits homeland-brutalized.)
Before “shell shock” and PTSD, the cowards were shot!

Maybe our movies can shoulder some blame
for extreme violence or magical thinking.
Before “shell shock” and PTSD, the cowards were shot!
Me and Apple were out on patrol….

Jean Waggoner has sporadically published poems, stories, articles and fine arts reviews and she co-authored The Freeway Flier and the Life of the Mind, a book about the Adjunct Faculty experience. “PTSD Pantoum” references a controversial 2007 Institute of Medicine and National Research Council PTSD analysis discussed in Sebastian Junger’s “The Bonds of Battle” in Vanity Fair, 2016. Jean has retired, no longer leads an Inlandia Institute creative writing workshop, and will soon update her website.

Photo credit: Elijah O’Donnell on Unsplash.